I’ve been a little hesitant to share things this private, but I think sharing this epiphany would give me some kind of emancipation.
I have been in Hong Kong for, on and off, 1,5 years now. Out of my trips staying abroad, I’d say I learned the most about myself the past few years. It’s kind of weird as you meet so many new people, and there are just the people that I know by heart will always be there for me back home ❤ This is one thing that is keeping me going out here in the far east.
This is kind of an epiphany-process I have been going through lately. I was looking around and tried to notice those people that would reach out for me and wonder how I am – those are the people that matter. Especially for those of you back home/out there where the distance makes it so much harder to keep in touch.
During the last 2 years, I have been through so much I’d never thought I would go through. So many broken hearts – others and mine. The realisation came to me that it might simply be because I don’t know what I want; freedom? security? adventures? the unknown? fun? commitment? challenges? love? or just the feeling of being loved? I still don’t think I know what I want, which is dangerous – cause that’s when you get hurt.
There is at least one thing I know – all the pondering of feelings are taking too much of my time. I don’t have time for that, and should focus on what matters. Shut out people, feelings, and things that will distract me from reaching my goals. And keeping the people and projects that will inspire me and thrive my positive energy and drive. It sounds so simple, but it’s hurting and I’m still trying very hard to make everything right. This is a commitment I’m making to myself. I really need it to go through especially the next six months. After that, I will enter a whole new chapter of my life – hopefully with some more refreshingly new challenges.