Whatever matters

I’ve been a little hesitant to share things this private, but I think sharing this epiphany would give me some kind of emancipation.

I have been in Hong Kong for, on and off, 1,5 years now. Out of my trips staying abroad, I’d say I learned the most about myself the past few years. It’s kind of weird as you meet so many new people, and there are just the people that I know by heart will always be there for me back home ❤ This is one thing that is keeping me going out here in the far east.

This is kind of an epiphany-process I have been going through lately. I was looking around and tried to notice those people that would reach out for me and wonder how I am – those are the people that matter. Especially for those of you back home/out there where the distance makes it so much harder to keep in touch.

During the last 2 years, I have been  through so much I’d never thought I would go through. So many broken hearts – others and mine. The realisation came  to me that it might simply be because I don’t know what I want; freedom? security? adventures? the unknown? fun? commitment? challenges? love? or just the feeling of being loved? I still don’t think I know what I want, which is dangerous – cause that’s when you get hurt.

There is at least one thing I know – all the pondering of feelings are taking too much of my time. I don’t have time for that, and should focus on what matters. Shut out people, feelings, and things that will distract me from reaching my goals. And keeping the people and projects that will inspire me and thrive my positive energy and drive. It sounds so simple, but it’s hurting and I’m still trying very hard to make everything right. This is a commitment I’m making to myself. I really need it to go through especially the next six months. After that, I will enter a whole new chapter of my life – hopefully with some more refreshingly new challenges.

 

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4 comments

  1. I think you have to do what is right for you. I have recently come out of a long term relationship where I wasn’t treated as I should have been, put a lot of things on hold and put to one side who I really was. It has taken a while, I’m still mending but I’m happy doing what makes me feel like me again. You need to think of number one, and then you’ll be ready for whatever comes your way 🙂

  2. I moved away from home almost 10 months ago and I’ve finally begun to make a close group of friends that I can consistently be around. I think the blogging community definitely helps in creating more meaningful relationships. I’m sure I would feel much more out of place & homesick if I didn’t have blogging. Truthfully, I don’t know what I want either, after all that’s happened I’m not sure the things I once wanted are the things I want now. That being said, I’ve learned that I’m much more motivated & ambitious when I’m single. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 1/2 yrs but last year we had a 1 month break where I had a mindset that I could only really count on myself and I needed to do whatever it was to make myself successful. When we continued to date, that all went out the window. It’s a comfort zone where I know I can rely on him so I do and I don’t try as hard to really go after what I want as I did when I was single :-/ It’s hard to find a middle ground in it all and really find a way to make it all work for you. I feel like I’m in the same boat but don’t give up, I think you’re on to something. Thanks for sharing & inspiring me to do better!

    1. Thank you so much for sharing. To be in a very long relationship(especially from a young age is really hard). Until last year, I’ve never really known myself as myself but with another person(hope it makes sense). And suddenly when I was alone, a lot of what I wanted changed, and that’s when I got confused.
      I’m also very happy for finding this community. I get so inspired by all you beautiful people out there. We share the same passion, but are yet so different. That’s what makes it so interesting and inspiring – to see how other people embrace the same thing I love, in such different ways.

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